19 September 23
Ending HIV
Top 10 tips for mind-blowing bottoming
Ever wanted to know the secrets to becoming a power bottom? Want to know how to look after the bottoms in your life? Curious to give bottoming a try but not sure how to begin?
We can help you become a better bottom! Here are some quick bottoming tips and tricks from ACON’s peer-workshop Booty Basics.
1. Lube
The arse does not produce its own lubrication.
This means that lube is really, really important for any anal play. First, to stop damage to the internal lining of your arse. Second, to make bottoming (and topping!) more pleasurable. And third, to help protect it from infections.
Remember to use water or silicon-based lubes, as oil-based lubes can damage condoms.
2. You
The second principle is YOU. This is the one that covers off all the mental and emotional aspects such as making sure you feel safe, making sure there is consent, that you feel comfortable, that you know your own bottoming limits and desires.
Remember, sex is best for everyone if all the people involved are motivated by trying to maximise everyone’s pleasure safely. You can’t be a good lover and you can’t experience pleasure for yourself if you’re stressed or uncomfortable (bottom or not!).
3. Relaxation
Relaxation is probably the most important factor in enjoying anal stimulation. Not being relaxed enough is the primary cause of pain while bottoming, because it tenses the anal muscles. For some people, relaxing their anal muscles just comes naturally, but for others, it doesn’t. For some of us, we need to actively focus on learning how to relax. This might involve breathing, paying attention to your body to see if you’re tense or relaxed, getting a massage or using toys to get used to the sensation of being fucked.
4. Avoid Pain
Although it is commonly believed that pain in anal sex is a normal and okay part of anal sex, this is not true.
Pain is the body’s way of signalling that something is wrong.
If things are painful, relax, use more lube and take it slow.
You can learn all about the best positions and how to avoid pain at ACON’s Booty Basics.
5. Watch your diet
A lot of guys avoid bottoming because they’re afraid they’ll be ‘dirty’.
Shit happens, though it’s usually best avoided. By following tips 5 and 6 you’ll have nothing to worry about!
For a pleasurable anal sex experience, it’s important to eat a diet rich in fibre, raw vegetables and fruit rather than processed foods.
Regular bowel movements are conducive to both comfort and confidence when it comes to anal sex.
So make sure that your diet is a healthy one and, although fibre is recommended, try to avoid eating it for a few hours before you’re set to engage in anal sex to avoid any unwanted accidents.
6. Douche
Only ever use plain, clean water – preferably body temperature. You don’t need antiseptics or disinfectants or anything else in a douche, as they all irritate the lining of the arse and can make the arse unhealthy (and increase risk of contracting HIV or other STIs like Chlamydia, Herpes or Gonorrhea).
Douching right before sex strips away the mucosa in the rectum which makes tears and abrasions along the walls more likely, so it’s recommended you do it at least half an hour before sex happens.
Douching too much can lead to bowel problems – so you should try to do it no more than 2-3 times a week.
If you have a healthy digestive system then douching probably isn’t necessary. However, some guys prefer the extra comfort of knowing for sure that they’re ‘clean down there’.
Douche-curious? Check out our beginner’s guide to douching.
7. The bottom is in control!
As the bottom you are in control of what happens to your body. If you’re the top you should check-in with your partner to make sure everything is ok and respect their needs.
For greater control some bottoms may choose to get on top and ride their partner’s cock. This is a great way to ensure you can go at your own pace – and when you’re both enjoying yourselves, sex will be a lot more fun. Remember who’s in charge!
8. Awareness
Being aware of your body is really important for healthy anal sex and pleasure. A lot of people with anal health problems don’t know that they have them, simply because they don’t pay attention to their arses. It’s important to know if something might be wrong, or if you have picked up an STI.
But it’s not all about the negative things. Paying attention to your body means that you can find out what helps you experience more pleasure too… finding your prostate opens up a world of pleasure to discover. So go explore your arse!
9. See your doctor
If something goes wrong with your arse, or if something just doesn’t feel right – see your doctor.
10. And everything else you need to know…
Once you’ve mastered these basics you’ll be ready to explore the full range of things you can do with your arse. Toys, positions… fisting?
Come along to ACON’s Booty Basics to learn more about these techniques as well as discussing group sex, sex on premises venues and how to maximise your pleasure while staying safe.
We’ll share tips on how you can have an anal orgasm along with other tips and tricks to help you be a power bottom, or give more pleasure to the bottoms in your life!
As well as this, you’ll meet a group of new friends to share your experiences with.
Follow these tips and be the best bottom you can be!
